I never viewed my cancer diagnosis as a life interruption.

Instead, it was more a continuation of a self-imposed lockdown, akin to the Covid experience.

For example, being the primary caregiver for my then nursing home-bound father dictated that I exercise extra caution and patience for his fragile health. And for a germaphobe like myself this meant not merely wearing a high-quality mask, excessive hand washing, avoiding large crowds and continually cleaning things that I touched (a lot), but also isolating and refraining from “going into the world.”

The toughest part of that isolation became the things I missed and missed out on…Holiday gatherings and meals with family. Going to

New York to see a show. Trips to the barber shop, the dentist, or a meal out at a favorite restaurant. Simple everyday chores that I once took for granted.

…And just as things started to loosen up and I started to get back to the world, and after my dad passed, the C-diagnosis came.

Fast forward…We recently returned from twelve relaxing days in the Poconos mountains. It was my first extended trip in over twelve months since the diagnosis. The change of scenery felt good. Even though we’ve spent the last twenty years going to the Poconos, this time everything felt different. New. Exciting. Interesting. It was like experiencing a new territory — instead of seeing and experiencing it in black

and white, everything was in color.

While there, I had a conversation with a friend who is going through a different type of transition – retirement. We talked about life, change, mortality…and how we spend our time. Without talking about it, he noticed that I was somehow, in his words, different.

He asked what cancer has done to change me and my perspective.

I explained that I am different. That cancer, with all its challenges and hardships, paradoxically has offered a unique perspective on life and has given me a newfound sense of freedom.

In the face of this past year’s adversity, cancer gave me a gift I never expected – the freedom to be unapologetically myself. It’s ironic how something so daunting could open the door to authenticity and liberation.

These are some revelations…

1) Speaking My Truth: 

Cancer taught me the value of time and how precious it is. Trite, but profoundly true. So, I decided to stop tip-toeing

around my feelings and started speaking my truth. Not that I had a great deal of trouble in this department! I expressed my love more often, said “I’m sorry” when I needed to, and offered forgiveness when it was warranted. The weight of unsaid words lifted and I feel lighter.

2) Taking Risks: 

When you’ve stared into the face of your own mortality, suddenly, the fear of failure or rejection seems trivial. I’ve started taking risks I’d always hesitated to take. I am pursuing my passions, even if they may seem impractical. I ask questions, seek adventure, and live more openly without holding back. I am now in my 4^th week back at work and the obstacles that once bothered or frustrated me no

longer matter.

3) Prioritizing What Matters: 

Cancer made me re-evaluate my priorities. I realized that the material possessions I’d once coveted mean very little. Instead, I am focused on spending time with loved ones, nurturing relationships, and making memories that will last a lifetime. My life has become richer in experiences, not things.

4) Embracing Vulnerability: 

Vulnerability became my greatest strength. I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help, to admit when I didn’t have all

the answers, and to show my emotions without reservation. In vulnerability, I found greater connection to and empathy from others.

5) Setting Boundaries: 

Cancer taught me the importance of protecting my well-being. I began setting boundaries to preserve my energy and focus on what truly mattered. I said “no” when necessary, and I embraced the freedom that comes with prioritizing self-care.

6) Letting Go of Grudges: 

Holding grudges felt like a heavy burden. Like carrying around heavy shopping bags. Cancer encouraged me to put

those bags down and release old resentments and let go of past hurts. Forgiving others, and forgiving myself, brought a profound sense of

liberation and peace.

7) Be Here Now: 

Cancer has shifted my perspective from dwelling on the past or worrying about the future to living fully in the present moment. Again, trite but true. Each day is a gift, and I savor it like a rare delicacy.

8) “Realness”:

With the uncertainty of cancer, I found the courage to be my authentic self. I let go of the need to conform to others’ expectations or societal norms. I celebrate my quirks, embrace my uniqueness, and find freedom in being me.

9) Facing Fear: 

Cancer taught me that fear is just a construct of the mind. I faced the fear of treatment, the fear of the unknown, and the

fear of death itself. Confronting these fears head-on made me realize that I was far stronger and braver than I had ever imagined.

10) Cherishing Every Moment: 

The freedom cancer gave me was not just about saying and doing what I wanted; it was about cherishing every moment, no matter how ordinary. Whether it was a warm cup of tea on a rainy day or a heartfelt conversation with a friend, I learned that life’s beauty lies in the smallest details.

Cancer may have brought physical challenges and emotional hurdles, but it also ignited a transformative journey towards self-discovery

and living life to the fullest. I know, it sounds “earthy crunchy,” but in the midst of the struggle, I found freedom—the freedom to be authentic, to love fiercely, to cherish every moment, and to live a life unburdened by regret. It is a freedom I wouldn’t have discovered without the profound lessons that cancer has taught me.

Written By

Eric Roberts