There has been consistent thread in many of your personal notes in response to my blog.

One that was unexpected.

“How do I encourage my (insert loved one here) to go to the doctor?” In full transparency, the majority of these responses are about male loved ones who refuse to seek elective care.

I am no subject matter expert, but I do believe that in my case, my doctor and his intervention helped save my life.

Convincing a loved one to see a doctor when they are resistant is challenging, but it's important to prioritize their health and well-being. If you don’t do it, who will? I wanted to provide a thoughtful response, so I did some homework - interviewed a physician, an oncology therapist, a nurse, a caregiver, and a handful of friends.

(Thank you Zig, Ira, Lynne, Cathy, Melissa, Andrew and Hank!)

Here are some steps you can take to encourage them to seek medical attention:

1.    Express your concern: Start by having an open and empathetic conversation. Express your love and concern for their health. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory, such as, "I'm worried about your health."

2.    Listen actively: Give them the opportunity to express their reasons for not wanting to see a doctor. Understand their concerns and fears, and validate their feelings. This can help you address their specific objections.

3.    Provide information: Offer information about the importance of regular check-ups, early detection, and the potential risks of not seeking medical attention. Share facts and statistics related to their symptoms or condition.

4.    Offer support: Let them know that you are willing to accompany them to the doctor's appointment, help with scheduling, or provide transportation if necessary. Sometimes the logistical aspects can be a barrier.

5.    Consult with a healthcare professional: If appropriate, reach out to a healthcare provider or nurse to discuss the situation. They may be able to provide guidance and even speak to your loved one about the importance of seeking medical care.

6.    Appeal to emotions: Share stories or examples of people who ignored symptoms and faced more serious health issues as a result. Sometimes, real-life stories can make a significant impact.

7.    Respect their autonomy: Ultimately, it's important to respect their decision, even if it's not the one you would prefer. Continue to offer support and gently remind them of the importance of their health.

8.    Seek assistance from others: Sometimes, involving other family members or close friends can help persuade a loved one to seek medical attention. However, be cautious not to make them feel ganged up on or pressured.

9.    Consider a professional intervention: If your loved one's refusal to seek medical help poses an immediate risk to their health or is due to a severe mental health issue, you may need to involve a mental health professional, counselor, or even consider an intervention.

Remember that patience, empathy, and understanding are key when trying to convince a loved one to see a doctor. It may take time and multiple conversations, but your support and persistence can make a difference in their decision to seek medical care. And remember, time is precious when one’s health is concerned.

Written By

Eric Roberts